It's meeeeeee! I was the turkey all along!

So, if my car should be wrecked again it would be due to the downloading of all seasons of Invader Zim and the Huz and I watching it on the Ipod whilst driving. We both die laughing and our sonster(who is now 17 and a senoir) just does not find it as captivating as we do.

We have fallen off the earth and out of the solar system for a while. After the sonster wrecked the ol' subaru we purchased ourselves a little 2007 Dodge Caliber - I lerv it!!!! Get's on average about 29-31mpg and scoots when you need it to. I have had it since 4/28 and already have put almost 6000 miles on it. Unfortunately, that is just going back and forth from work to home to pdx and home on most usual days. But otherwise living it up and still doing the whole work/play thing. No change in family status but the fertility stuff is being looked at now. The huz and I have decided if it isn't an easy fix we will let it alone. I'm not wanting babies so bad as to surgerize myself or do IVF, I really only want 2 at the most and IVF is toooooo expensive to only do 2. But these are my 30's and it is nice to have the freedoms that we have which is in balance to the amount of work we do weekly.

That's the summary of life since january, although it may have been since Aug that I posted anything here. Hope all is well!

New season, new job.

I panicked, thought my current job was in imminent danger due to downsizing, updated my resume, sent it in to Sunnyside Kaiser, got an interview 2 hrs later, interviewed friday and was offered the job that evening. Same commute it is just across the street from my current job, a position that is a step up from my current role, and a couple more $ an hour. Can't complain about that, can I? But the whole thing happened so fast, that I'm not very excited yet about the change.

I am in fact very excited about the weather change.

It seems a lot of things in my life are changing without me really having much control over it, and that freaks me out a bit. I have become the worship leader at my church... meaning I'm responsible for the oversight of all the music, I choose all the songs for each service, I lead the band (umm...I don't play any instruments) and I also am in charge of putting on the children's christmas program. Which I have to brag; the kids are doing amazing we have learned 12 songs all with choreography and this will be an adorable program. Plus, I've stepped in as a sunday school teacher for the 4th/5th grade class. Pretty crazy.

And we still have our 16 yr old foster son, who is doing great and is a lot of fun. Plus another month and all of his Equestrian team stuff will start back up and this year he is doing all western (rodeo type) stuff, with a beautiful and super fast horse.

I did not see myself here a year ago, but it is going good. And that's the update in a nutshell. Have a wonderful, wet, blustery day! I LOVE FALL! I am in the mood to just write and be wistful but I have to work... will write later.

Driving in the Gloaming

Well, I thought that the gloaming was that time of day or time when the sun makes everything seem cast in shades of orange and give everything a ethereal glow. The green of the trees seems tenfold more brilliant and the fog is layered in copper streams. But when looked up in wikipedia it says twilight, before sunrise or after sunset which doesn't really capture that lovely image that I was able to be part of this morning.

Living out as far as I do, I truly have a beautiful drive to work. And during autumn it just gets prettier everyday, fog laying on a lilypad clad pond with a lone Heron standing amid the flowers. Copper rays shooting through changing colors of trees as leaves whirl down from the canopies above. Wow, I'm sure I woke up in a horrible mood but how can you stay bitter when you get to see so many wonderful changes in the morning.

But the badness is still is trying to invade my day. So, with that I will let you go and close with the fact that I love fall and can't wait for it to get prettier and prettier! Hooray for sweaters, tights and boots. And wind, and rain, and leaves blowing all around!

Driving in the Gloaming

Well, I thought that the gloaming was that time of day or time when the sun makes everything seem cast in shades of orange and give everything a ethereal glow. The green of the trees seems tenfold more brilliant and the fog is layered in copper streams. But when looked up in wikipedia it says twilight, before sunrise or after sunset which doesn't really capture that lovely image that I was able to be part of this morning.

Living out as far as I do, I truly have a beautiful drive to work. And during autumn it just gets prettier everyday, fog laying on a lilypad clad pond with a lone Heron standing amid the flowers. Copper rays shooting through changing colors of trees as leaves whirl down from the canopies above. Wow, I'm sure I woke up in a horrible mood but how can you stay bitter when you get to see so many wonderful changes in the morning.

But the badness is still is trying to invade my day. So, with that I will let you go and close with the fact that I love fall and can't wait for it to get prettier and prettier! Hooray for sweaters, tights and boots. And wind, and rain, and leaves blowing all around!

Calm

Things have quieted down in our house. Tim moved out last tuesday, I took over his old room and started filling it with girl stuff again. Then Dan and Jacob went to help with Cycle Oregon and I had 5 days all to myself, which cost me dearly. It was wonderful!

I went out to lunch with girlfriends everyday, I went to the beach with my mom and cousin, I went out friday night with my bestfriend and I painted my bedroom this lovely leaf green color. I purchased storage containers, and organized everything and cleaned my house. Played with my dogs and cats and watched "What not to wear" marathons (which Dan dislikes immensely but I love). Let me say again, "It was wonderful"!

Now this week I am back to work, went out to Sushi land with the Huz last night, he loved the idea and the Sushi but I can't say i'm head over heels for their sushi, it's just OK for me. Now sitting at work... up to my nose in piles of work and having no idea where to start. Meh!

At least I have a job and the piles give me some sense of job security, being the only one here who can do this work and much more.

Okay! You all have a great day!

Weirdness in my house...

Yesterday I was awaken feeling nasty and found out that our foster child, (the one who is wanting to move out) was Large and in color on the front page of the Oregonian. He had been interviewed with his sister for an article about his sister successfully breaking the statistics of foster care. Unfortunately the pic and caption was all that was written about Tim. He was expecting more and with all the craziness that is happening with him I know it was crushing to find out that they didn't print anything that they had talked to him about.

Plus, apparently my Huz had an angry outburst on friday and now there is a large awkward gap between the two of them which makes my house an uncomfortable place to be. What can you do? I just can't wait for this to all clear up, I don't think that Dan and I will feel good about it but it will get better.

Well, if you pray... keep Tim and our family in your prayers. This is something just way beyond us and I am feeling quite like a tiny insignificant human right now.

Have a beautiful rainy day.

It's a sad day...

We were blind sided today with news that our first foster child wants to find another home because he can't seem to get along with our second foster child. Before we even knew anything was going on between them, he had made up his mind, talked to his caseworker and already got the wheels in motion. We weren't even given a chance to work on it, dan and I were completely in the dark and now have no say whatsoever.

Would it be better another way? who knows. I feel like i've lost my first child. I'm hurt, sad, angry and at the same time have to do everything I can to make that child feel supported, loved and have a smooth transition. As well as still supporting and continueing the care of the second child seemlessly.

What a weird ride we've been on. And as all things happen for a reason, I'm sure this will work out in the wash and be better for both boys, but geez... how could I have prepared for this? It's a tough thing trying to raise other peoples teenagers.

Part of me wants to fight and shout: "I didn't get to choose my siblings or my parents!" How come we are letting this 16 yr old? How does this teach him how to deal with relationships? This will not be to his betterment in marraige and his own family. He won't be able to just leave and pick new ones. And then the other parts of me are sad and excited for what the next few months will bring for the other child who has not had the opportunity to shine in his own safe environment.

Why do I have to be an emotional, silly girl? OK I have vented. Thanks for letting me share.

Bar-backing at my fave bar

So one of these days I'm gonna take the time to format my myspace page. Change and upload new and better pics. But for now I spend my free time sleeping and can't seem to get a minute on the compy at home with the two boys glued to their email/instant msging/myspace and more and the Huz doing homework. But that is fine.

I've been picking up hours at my friend's bar as a substitute bar-back. It's fun and mindless, busy and exhausting but again... still fun. It also is helping to fund my shopping wants. Which have been put on hold since we got the boys. So, every two or three weeks I pick up a shift and have a little $ to blow. Hooray for friends who have their own businesses!

So, If you are out and about tonight and happen by the Boiler Room, stop and wave hello cause I'm not stopping to talk but it would still be nice to see you.



Have a great weekend!