Sometimes!!!!
yes, sometimes I take myself a little too serious.
I wanted to go out last night and have fun. But never really relaxed, felt like I was on the verge of tears the whole night, with one time leaping over the verge, and just plain felt like a silly little girl.
I've come down with a head cold and when I sang or talked it felt like I was yelling. I had no air, (thank you asthma and cold) which made me feel like I didn't have control of anything! yes, especially when I was singing.
I was so self absorbed that I didn't hear what people were saying to me, nor did I want to interact with new people but forced myself to... so I hope I didn't seem rude and distant. I was just being a ridiculous girl. A friend called me cute while I was singing and I totally felt like it was sarcasm because I didn't feel cute, so blew it off. Plus, earlier in the day, the nice kid who gave me the cute card and asked me to dinner came in repeatedly and apologized all over himself to the extent that it felt like he was apologizing for any compliments made and he was so embarrassed that it made me feel bad for him. [He pretty much sucked any and all of the fun and flattery out of that, for me.] So on with the evening, I kept catching myself fake laughing to avoid conversations, or nervous laughter when I didn't know how to take something, as even the nicest compliment would have been twisted in my little pea brain and analyzed and taken as a diminished criticism. I took "quiet" as having a small voice at first, before realizing that's not what was said. And then obviously I analyzed all my actions on my long drive home at 230 this morning. And yes I was up at 6am and got to bed at 3am, and most likely am still being a silly girl. Lack of sleep and too many hormones and a 10 hr day of work ahead of me.
Please tell me I'm being retarded! This has got to end before I get around my in-laws because I have a tendancy to magnify crap when I'm not in my usual habitat.
Current Mood: embarrassed
Current Music: The Sundays: Wild Horses
2 Comments:
have you ever tried just being a strait-up bitch to members of your notsoimmediate family? i don't mean be evil all the time and make them hate you, i mean just throw them a curve once in a while so that when you don't want to talk to them or don't feel like making an effort, you can just pull something weird. you will find that people go the extra inch to make your life just a bit more comfortable in social situations if you tell them how you are thinking of eating their heart without removing it from their bodies and you aren't planning on using your hands...and you make them believe you are telling the truth! another of doc forkbeard's helpful family-party-tips, just in time for the holidays! :)
You two are quite possibly one of the coolest couples that I know or half know. Have a good trip too.
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