I want to write...

But I don't feel very prolithic at the moment. I am embarressed about how much money I've just thrown away this last couple of weeks. Call it shopping therapy, call it uninhibited, I call it plain old bad decision making. I've had a great weekend, Dr's appts are over, shopped a ton, M's birthday was so much fun, and I felt cute all weekend. And that is a feat in itself. Plus, there have been lots of tears shed this weekend, both Dan and I had our moments--- i think he gets all sappy when I actually decide to let my flood gates break and admit that I feel helpless, weak, out of control, and that I truly am struggling with all these external forces. I don't want to be a major sap, but it is a beautiful thing to see my husband let a few tears go, lovely to see how our relationship changes and grows, it's amazing to me to have a friend so close (while looking at a messy, sobbing, running nose girl) tell me I'm cute and share tears with me. I'm so grateful! It makes all the muscles in my chest stress as my heart thuds wildly at the thought of him sometimes. I am so lucky/blessed/whatever you want to call it.


Now, to be a responsible girl and do bills, clean house and make brunch for the two of us. Thank you for letting me ramble on these pages in space and caring enough to read any of it. Have a good monday.