It's a sad day...

We were blind sided today with news that our first foster child wants to find another home because he can't seem to get along with our second foster child. Before we even knew anything was going on between them, he had made up his mind, talked to his caseworker and already got the wheels in motion. We weren't even given a chance to work on it, dan and I were completely in the dark and now have no say whatsoever.

Would it be better another way? who knows. I feel like i've lost my first child. I'm hurt, sad, angry and at the same time have to do everything I can to make that child feel supported, loved and have a smooth transition. As well as still supporting and continueing the care of the second child seemlessly.

What a weird ride we've been on. And as all things happen for a reason, I'm sure this will work out in the wash and be better for both boys, but geez... how could I have prepared for this? It's a tough thing trying to raise other peoples teenagers.

Part of me wants to fight and shout: "I didn't get to choose my siblings or my parents!" How come we are letting this 16 yr old? How does this teach him how to deal with relationships? This will not be to his betterment in marraige and his own family. He won't be able to just leave and pick new ones. And then the other parts of me are sad and excited for what the next few months will bring for the other child who has not had the opportunity to shine in his own safe environment.

Why do I have to be an emotional, silly girl? OK I have vented. Thanks for letting me share.